Welcome to my world!

I think these speak for themselves. Just a few photos from the last week or so.

I swam in the wild wild sea,

This morning I couldn’t resist the sound of the tide rolling onto the beach.
I quickly grabbed my book and a towel and laid in the warm comfort of the sand for awhile. The whole time I was sizing up the waves, building the courage to go run into them.
And finally I did.

It was a totally different freedom than I have felt in a very long time.
Far different than I could’ve ever anticipated and I can’t wait to do it again!

Week 4

You know, I have this habit of summing an entire letter or blog all up in the first sentence. For instance, 5 seconds ago I started this out by saying “the last few days have been interesting”… well, thats just a silly way to begin things, so I will instead just jump into stories and let you decide whether or not its interesting.

I’m sitting on the sidewalk of my daily frequented coffee shop in Kailua right now. I just got off work a little while ago and needed some time spent in solitude. Its a beautiful day and I made a few turns on my way here to prolong the ride here. I’m definitely beginning to show signs of living in Hawaii…my hair has gotten lighter, my skin is turning golden and my accent is slightly changing its tones on words. I love adapting to a new surrounding and culture, I really do feel as though I belong here.

That being said…I know living in Hawaii can easily be looked upon as something easy…and even lazy in a sense. And I know this because all Summer I got laughed at whenever I said I was moving here. The response I usually received was “Oh, well, thats a tough life!” I mean, there are alot of stereotypes out there of this place and I for one, will be the first to admit that. Years ago I would’ve laughed, too, at the thought of living out here in paradise vactionland. But wow… this is the most challenging, hardest season of life I have ever been in. I have gone through so many emotions in the last few weeks than all together last year.

I’ve been talking to Ryan’s brother in law, Tom, alot the last few days. He’s been a huge encouragement to me and I’m so thankful for his wisdom and counsel that he has given me. Him and his wife, Rachel, truly are incredible people. I admire them in their strength and eagerness to follow the Lord in His calling. I’m so excited to have them near by!

I really began to feel defeated this weekend. I’ve been emotionally drained and it sounds so easy to give up now. I miss my friends and family so much. I’ve never been so homesick before. But I’ve never been this far away either. I’m on a tiny little Island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean right now. I can’t just hop in the car and drive a few hours to go see my family whenever I want. That becoming a reality is sort of hard to deal with. Especially right now when I’ve been down and feeling vulnerable. More than anything right now I just want to go hang out with my brother. So I’m trying to persuade him to move here. I’m crossing my fingers.

A few nights ago I was riding my bike on the sidewalk, minding my own business, when a truck full of guys pulled up next to me and yelled out “You piece of s***!!” I was shocked. I’ve never had anyone do that before and it left me feeling extremely bothered, ruined the evening for me. Then last night I was walking on the sidewalk past a restaurant and a guy sitting at a table looked at me and said “F*** off, tourist.” You would think I was making this stuff up…I was pretty surprised by that especially. Honestly, I don’t have a clue why I would get yelled those things. I’ve been told by several people that I look like a local Island girl. And after speaking to Ryan and Tom, its kind of a confirmation that the enemy is really trying to beat me down.

Today has been good. I woke up feeling revived. I’m not going to let anyone or anything bring me down. And I’m certainly not going to give up. I don’t anticipate anything to get easier, but I feel better about things now than I did a week ago. If you think about it, if you could pray for me sometime. I’m really trying to find a good job and place to live. I know the Lord will provide something, He has been so faithful, as always. He is teaching me alot right now—patience, trust, faith to name a few things. I wouldn’t have it any other way. How else will I grow? I would definitely appreciate some prayer though, I really need to find a good job and place to live.

I’ve decided that I’m the only one in Hawaii right now that doesn’t have a bathing suit. Seriously…what is wrong with me? I live on the beach and I have yet to go into the ocean. I don’t know how to swim though. I need to work on that. I think Ryan and I are going to go snorkeling sometime soon. At first I didn’t know if I wanted to, but it sounds like alot of fun now.

The bug bite on my arm isn’t healing. I’m not sure what to do. But I definitely have a nice tanline from the gauze wrapped around my arm.

Today a couple came into eat (at my work) and oh my goodness, he was so strange. He was doing like really bad robotic break dancing type moves anytime he needed to get something, like his wallet or a soda from the cooler. And his response to everything was “dope” or “sweetness”. His girlfriend did not at all looked amused. Infact she didn’t even attempt at smiling or making conversation with him. Which is actually sad. The whole situation amused me though. Dope. Pfft, silly, silly boy.

It’s a nice Sunday afternoon.

I’m not even going to get into how church was today. I’m still processing. More about that later. We’re going to the North Shore today. Hopefully I’ll get some photos!

My new reading material…

Battle Wounds

So there is something creeping and crawling in this house that is biting me and giving me infections. I exclaimed almost excitedly to Ryan a few days ago that I got a bug bite…figured it would go away the next day. But instead, over the last few days, it has just increasingly grown into this huge red painful lump on my arm. So in an emergency trip to Longs, Ryan got me some sort of medication stuff and gauze and he very quickly got it all taken care of and bandaged up in the parking lot.

He has the same type of bites all over his arms, too…but they didn’t get nearly as huge and red as mine…so who knows whats going on there. After he bandaged me up he said, “We need to get some carrots in you.” So see, Mom, he does believe in the power of carrot juice.

Beachin’ Awesome

My mom has requested more photos of me. So here you go, Mom. Half of my face. In your face. Enjoy.

Zoya the cat.

I miss my friends.

My darling friends, Amber and Molly…that was our last picture together before I left the continental US of A. Such dears, they are.

I am having a lovely time here in Hawaii, and I really couldn’t be happier. But I miss my family and friends so much. I’m not usually the homesick type. But it is kind of weird to be away from so much familiarity.

I especially miss this guy, my manly Borat mustache brother, Nick. His birthday is in 3 days.

Sigh.

I just want to hang out with you guys. But here. In Hawaii. Come visit.

I live in a Sauna.

Seriously,

I feel like I am living in a sauna. No exaggeration. I have a hard time falling asleep everynight due to being so hot. I wake up all sweaty. I ride my bike to work, sweat all the way there…the whole time I’m there…and all the way back home, where I’m greeted by a heat wave as I enter the door.

There’s not alot of ventilation in Ryan’s studio. I mean, we have windows, but there is alot of plants and trees surrounding all the windows on the outside, so not alot of breeze makes its way in. At all.

It takes awhile to become adapted to a new climate. My skin is so much more different than it ever has been…mostly in a bad way, but its just got to take some time getting used to. At home, even though the temperature rises to about the same here during the day, it still drops quite a bit at night. I miss that.

But I can’t complain, I love it here. Regardless of the heat. I’m getting use to it.

So today was a bad luck day for alarms.

Tom, Ryan’s brother in law is staying with us. He and his wife, Rachel and 2 kids just moved to the Big Island from Colorado. So Tom is training for a new job here on Oahu for the next couple of weeks. He has to get up basically in the middle of the night…okay, well, 5am…middle of the night for me and a guy picks him up at 6. This morning I woke up from hearing a car outside our door. And then as soon as I cracked my eyes open and saw the time was 6:10, I see Tom jump up and basically run out the door. His alarm failed to go off.

Then a couple hours later, I awake once again, peak at the clock and see it says 8:50. Ryan has to be at work at 9. Its 30 minutes away. He’s sleeping like a baby on the floor.

I wanted to get up at 8:30. My alarm failed to go off. Ryan’s alarm, obviously, did not go off either. I wake him up and he jumps up and runs out the door.

So today was quite the morning for all of us here. 3 different alarms…my phone, Ryan’s phone and clock…you would think one of them would of gone off.

Technology is so unreliable.

And thats the moral of the story.

I worked again today…I really am beginning to like the job alot. First day I was a little iffy…but its alot of fun. I’m going to try to convince the guys for us to go eat there tonight. Still trying to find something else….I applied to Starbucks, but who knows if I’ll hear anything back. That’d be ideal though.

In exactly 2 months I’ll be 22. Yes! I love getting older. I can’t wait to be 30. Ryan thinks that a girl becomes a woman at 28. So apparently I’m still a girl. I don’t feel like a girl. I think he is crazy. Crazy crazy boy. Oh, apparently he’s a man at 27, but women mature slower? Yeah right. I’ll believe that when I see it.

Hawaii is full of some weird people. Probably all tourists. I mean, wow. Everyday I get a little weirded out by someone. Yesterday I was locking up my bike and I overheard this woman talking to this real old elderly couple a few feet away and she just kept saying over and over “You’re really in Hawaii. I swear. You’re really in Hawaii.” What’d she do? Slip roofies (aka “forget me now’s”) in their drinks and stuff them on a plane here without them noticing? What a trip!

Our new vacation home neighbors are real nice. The last family was Italian with screaming kids. The new family is from California with screaming kids. Last night I opened the door to let the cat outside and there was a 7 or 8 year old girl standing right there, just staring at me. I was a little taken aback. I told her hello and then we talked about the cat for awhile. And California. And then I got really awkward, as I always do when I have to talk to kids, so I slowly tried to close the door. I told her goodnight but when I turned back around, she was still standing there. I mean, I love kids. I really do. But they make me so uncomfortable.

I haven’t brushed my hair in over a month. And its getting too long for me to get away with not doing so. Now the whole bottom layer is just a bunch of knots…it looks like I dreaded it. No joke. Amos, you should be proud. The bottom half of my head is dread-locked.

Okay, thats enough pointless topics for today.

Obama, Obama

That photo was taken on Kailua Beach, where Obama and his family are staying right now. Andddd thats where I live. Infact, Ryans back gate is right on Kailua beach. I heard Obama was staying around here…I just haven’t been on the beaches for awhile.

Maybe I’ll go lay out today.